It's time to get the show on the road. I've almost finished my direct-to-eBay quilt, "The Big Prick Quilt." I hope it's funny enough to raise some money and perhaps get a few eyes out for Theo's whereabouts. I'm also getting old things of Theo's to sell. I think eBay and Craig's List will be far less emotional for the kids than a garage sale. There's plenty of regular old house crap for one of those too.
I'm determined to get forms in tomorrow. I have so many to do my brain is spinning. Sleep would probably help too.
We're going to get groceries and maybe some gas and cross our fingers that other income plans come together. The kids are out of school in about four weeks, so the plans need to work with that as well. Photos, maybe some non-fiction writing, selling eBay stuff on commission. Sarcasm quilts could be the new thing.
I don't think we'll have health insurance after the 1st. I can't get another $1600 for COBRA. As far as I can tell, none of our doctors take medicaid. It took me forever to find the right doctors that we have now. I have no hope that there will be anything good this direction, except maybe that we can continue our current medications. The health issues have kept me on-call 24/7 and biting my nails trying to keep the health trends going in the right direction and I fear this change in doctors could be disasterous and very dangerous.
My finger and ankle are still aching, but I'm going to wait until the health ins is stable one way or another before I go in for surgery. I really don't want another set of doctors' or hospital bills to turn into yet another place we can't go to for non-emergency treatment. Theo left an amazing set of medical bills unpaid.
My parents have jumped in to keep a roof over our heads.
From what I can guess, Theo thought that once he'd left, we'd "get on with life". I think we all felt like we no longer needed to be tensed waiting for the next unpredictable explosion of temper. That was nice. Figuring out how to keep the health and childcare portion going is very difficult. I haven't found traditional work that allows me to manage the needs of the kids too. Now that things have gotten more severe, I doubt we can get anyone/place that's qualified medically to provide childcare. Insurance companies and childcare businesses run screaming in terror when we show up.
Theo did get his money. According to all accounts, especially his own writing, that was the thing most important to him. I'm really not sure when he tipped over into his psychosis; I completely missed his passing the point of no return. I got the first wake up call that he'd lost it when he said he needed to divorce me so he could save money and that it wasn't about our relationship.
At the first hearing, he told the court he wanted to give me custody and all decison making power as long as he could keep all his money. See, that way Theo and I would both get something. We could split the house 50/50 because he was feeling generous about keeping his house. When my lawyer pointed out the special needs of the kids, Theo's lawyer was taken by surprise. She hadn't heard about that because Theo didn't realize it was important. I think at this point she still thought we had two kids -- Theo couldn't understand what the kids had to do with the divorce.
When he found out that the non-custodial parent had to pay child support, he wanted 50/50 time, despite the fact that he'd never spent more than a couple hours alone with all three kids before. The last time he was overnight alone with any of the kids, Kai was just two years old and Rowan was in the infant ward of the hospital for intestinal surgery. Then fun time with the Child Forensic Investigation started. More on that another time.
I kept asking Theo how he thought divorcing would save money, especially since he went straight for the lawyer/court option. He told me that I'd see, if I wasn't smart enough to get it already.
An interesting date: November 9th. It's Theo's birthday, the day we met online, the day he proposed and the day of our first divorce hearing. I hope only one of those events was intentionally planned to occur that day.
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